Feed on


I seem to have a desire to continue a theme…

As fate would have it after my hubby met his man-fan last week I had the interesting opportunity to have my own lesbian moment yesterday.

At work I was serving a long line of customers.

A nice, young lady walked up to the counter and…

well it went a little something like this:


Me: Hi! Having a lovely day? What can I get you?

Her:______________________________ (the blank space is intentional…imagine lady staring at me…right in the eyes…mouth slightly ajar and full-on-silence.)

Me: _____________________________ (the blank space is intentional…imagine me suppressing urge to check for spinach in my teeth, bra strap showing, wondering if I was wearing my Cougar T-shirt or if I’d forgotten to wash of the texta across my forehead that read *check-me-out-I’m-curious-today*)

Her:________________________________(the blank space is intentional…yep she’s still just looking at me…. I know this sounds terribly-egotistical but she is freakin’ completely hypnotized!!!!!)

Me: (suppressing urge to whistle my way through very awkward moment of silence) Sooooo…do you think you’d like a hot drink or a cold drink?

Her: I wa, wa, I wan, I want *giggle* a latte.

Me: OH-Kay then one… latte.

Her: Sorry…I don’t know what came over me.

Me: S’ok it’s the best offer I’ve had all day!

Staff: Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

Regular Customers: chortle/snap/laugh/snort.


Of course had we both been gay this would have been a magical moment. One of those love at first sight thingys you’d read about in a lesbo mag like…

Hang on a sec…

Like in Curve Magazine (Thank you Bing.)

But although I have no problem admiring beautiful women or even answering the “who’d you turn gay for question” I’m pretty sure that I am not a lesbian.

But I was spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about lesbians

and that was beginning to feel weird.

So I thought that I’d try taking my mind of them by popping onto the iphone for a quick Twitter-lation.

But what do I see there?

Oh yeah, I have a new follower-

@ct lesbians

Well this didn’t take my mind of lesbians at all. It actually got me thinking more and more about them.

Is it possible that I am giving off some special girl-on-girl-action-vibes today?

I show my husband my new follower and he leans in for a nice-long-close-look. I whisk my phone away before drool short-circuits the hard drive.

“What do you think?” I say.

“I need a shower.” he says.

And this reminds me that most heterosexual men have amazing-hot-lesbian-fantasies.


Why is that?

I know the fantasies mostly consist of the man- and at least two (or preferably more) luscious-lipstick- lesbians (the long blonde hair types- not usually the brunette short-spiky-hair types), who will put on a very lovely-lesbian-nurse-meets-lesbian-nurse-action-show for him- and then when they are done with each other they somehow, (not surprisingly as this is fantasy-land) still have enough energy to cater to his… every whim.


Thing is,

and I could be wrong,

having no personal experience…..

but I’m pretty sure lesbians don’t like dick.


Of course there is always bi-sexual women.

Hmmm? Bi-sexual sex.

If I’m giving off I’ve-got-boobs-and-I-want-your-boobs vibes then maybe it’s something I should think about?

I decide the only safe way I can work this out is if I have a good trawl through @ctlesbians twitter page.

I fire up the laptop….open up Cape Town Lesbians and start reading their tweets…

Okay…so far so good…

nice little rant about Jan Moir, very current- of the moment, little bit more of Gately’s funeral… sad stuff… but still pretty interesting…and yeah the avatar is kinda hot….so I keep on reading….then there’s some awful-can’t-believe-it-stuff about death penalty for homosexuals in Uganda WTF???…and moving right along there is a call to go to anti-hate crime rallies (hey tell me the address and I’ll be there!)…but bugger… it’s in the UK…oh hang on a sec- yep- here’s one a bit closer to home….Australian’s to march for same-sex marriage rights on November 28…and, oh look a Retweet from Elton John….cute….a message to his sixteen year old self…and…. then….there is…..

oh my gawd an absolute horror!

In the form of

a simple,

innocent looking





And yes folks,

that pretty much decided it,

there and then.


Without a doubt.

I am not a lesbian.


Click here for info on the Australian Nov 28  2009 same sex marriage rallies.

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