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Apology to the Garden Hose

In Melbourne Spring arrives in suggestive doses.

A day of sunshine mingles with three or four of chill. Then there’s two days of sunshine in a row- teasing us to prematurely shed our coats and scarves (but not…I repeat not our knee high boots). Like true Melburnians we will then friggin’ curse that left at home jacket and temperamental friggin’ weather until we emerge fully from winter- triumphant at its’ proper passing.

But until then the very earliest signs of Spring mean several things to me.

There is a delicious tingle to the skin- marking the return of the sun.  There is a yearning for short sleeves and fake tan.  There is a craving for salad.  There is an eye brow raised in disdain at all the black in my wardrobe (which incidentally I never do anything about )…and…

There is the dreaded womanly review of the gardening that needs to be undertaken for the sunny season ahead.

It’s not a pleasant task.

Under scornful, almost averted eyes I began my survey yesterday. What I found was a mess- a mess that was only two short months before a neatly tended landscape. Ugh. It’s been a long winter.

In the northern areas what had previously been weeded religiously- showed the effects of my sporadic attempts at upkeep. Freezing mornings and water restrictions haven’t helped- but they are poor excuses for the patchy results. Diagnosis- damage done there is extensive- but fixable.

The case was not as charming upon surveying the entire southern section. Completely left unfettered this region was showing obvious signs of neglect. It had grown amok. I’m fearful that no whipper snipper or weed whacker will now suffice. I will have to seek help from the professionals.

Now before you scoff at me and gloat or email me pics of your perfectly-tended-all-through-winter-driveways please remember that I have been married for over fifteen years, have two kids, run a business (actually two up until earlier this year), study at Uni and wear pants all winter long. Gardening, I’m ashamed to admit, has not been a high priority.  All my Autumn resolutions of ongoing maintenance dimmed with the passing of daylight savings.

I’m not good at keeping promises to myself. But right now I’m feeling more than a bit sorry for the garden hose.

So garden hose here is my apology to you.

I’m sorry.

How you navigated that territory and did your best all through the cold season I’ll never know.

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