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Category Archive for 'Parenting'

According to my weeping daughter, who had flung herself across her bed, two girls, (count them fingers sticking up at me) two girls in her jazz ballet class got a grade higher than she did in her dance exam. I make her sit up. We wipe the trail of snot off her pillowcase and closely […]

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At exactly 3.27pm every week day I hear the same words whined at me from the back seat of our car. “I’m staaaarving Mum.”   No, you are not starving. Your bellies are plump and round from last night’s supper of chocolate teddy bear bickies and ding milk, not distended from years of malnutrition- the […]

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Miss 8 just told me that my way of doing subtraction was ‘old fashioned.” On a piece of paper she jots down a two figure sum and proceeds to demonstrate the modern way of doing math.  “See Mummy’ she said, ‘makes more sense.” I need a cup of tea.   “Now can we practice my […]

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Bully, verb: discourage or frighten with threats or a domineering manner Bullies really shit me. I feel like starting a gang of parents who (masked of course…and maybe even wearing capes if we could come up with the right shade) roam school yards protecting our kids from the terror they inflict. Pow to their arrogance. […]

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