My son is the family jokester.

We call him Jerry, because sometimes he channels Seinfeld… but most of the time he’s a total Lewis through and through.

He decided he wanted to play a birthday trick on his little sister, Miss A. So he concocted this (err…not very original) idea of wrapping up a pack of knickers and giving it to her, as though it was the only gift she was going to receive.

I looked at him a bit puzzled.

You don’t know your sister very well, I said.

But he was already chuckling at the hilarity of it all and he picked out a pack o’five for his joke.

In the morning we serenaded Miss A with the traditional rendition of the happy birthday song (meaning we sang it properly, not the you-smell-like-a-monkey version…) and he gave her the present, barely suppressing a smirk as he watched her unwrap it.

Undies, she smiled, thanks they’re really nice, she said flinging her arms around me and giving me a big, long hug.
Her brother waited for the question… Is there anything else? Or the expectant look around in case there was another gift waiting… but there was nothing but cuddle… glorious cuddly-cuddle.

Over her head I looked at him and I raised one… single… eyebrow.

Now if you haven’t seen this particular look before, my heart breaks for you ‘cos you were obviously orphaned at birth… as it’s a look every Mother gives her child at least once (if not, let’s face it, a hell-of-alot-of more times) in their lives.

One, very carefully raised eyebrow equals… see I tooooold you so AND why don’t you ever listen to your mother… all wrapped up in a little arched n’hairy caterpillar of maternal guilt.

Yes, the eyebrow could very well be the single most powerful tool a Mother has at her disposal…
and I can work it like a master…

On seeing the eyebrow-of-doom Miss A’s big brother scurried away to retrieve the real present he had bought, (with his very own money… yeah I have to cut him a little slack for that, he is after all only eleven…) which was a pair of prized iCarly PJ’s (what’s that I hear you say… you haven’t heard of iCarly? Ahhh sorry I can’t be fekked explaining… suffice to say she’s the latest marketable invention in the licensing spin-cycle for cash… see your local Target for more details…) and as predicted Miss A adored them.

And then I gave her my gift.

Which was something she had admired in a jewellery shop window a while ago.
But never asked for.

A plaited leather, Pandora bracelet.

Which she liked because,

a) Mum look it’s pink!

And…

b) Look Mum, money from the sale of each bracelet go to Breast Cancer research.



She turned nine today.


And she could teach a lot of kids, double her age, a lesson in grace.


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Happy Birthday Sweetheart,
Love from Mum, Dad… and… Jerry.

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