There are some days where you just feel that you are the icy pole stick that’s been shoved up the arse of a Paddlepop.
Chocolate flavour.
I don’t want to sound like a huge whinge-bag (because I am really blessed with family, friends, health and incredible good looks >haha< ) but yesterday was the beginning of one of those chain-of-events-days that sometime happen in our lives…
We all cope well with one little disaster…but then another happens and another…… it all stacks up….
It began yesterday at an hour of the morning that I’d only heard of in fables…4.55am.
Between dear daughter and dear cat (known as Sam or Sam-bo or effen-friggin-cat-get-off-my-black-pants) my morning had started about two hours, five minutes and twenty seven seconds earlier than it needed to.
But, believe it or not, eyes riddled by old-lady-varicose-veins was not the lowlight.
Oh no…no sir…
The lowlight was finding out one of my long term employees has been stealing from me.
Jolly good. Things have to get better now…right? Not.
I then took a phone call from a man whom we shall call the ‘business associate’, but who is more affectionately known as a name even I am too embarrassed to write on here (well to give you a clue it has something to do with bananas and a very nasty-red-itchy-rash).
I picked up the phone (EPIC MISTAKE) and as soon as I realised it was him- I instantly wished that instead of picking up the phone I had simply taken the phone-cord and whipped myself senseless.
I popped into G-mail (chosen for it’s semi-erotic name only) and quickly looked up my star sign. Ahhhh…I thought. Now it all makes sense….
Gemini’s were copping a big one from Uranus.
I felt relief wash over me. I can handle Uranus!
By the crack of tomorrow’s dawn it would all be over…
Today I locked the cat out, fired the girl and in the privacy of my own home I flipped the ‘business associate’ the bird. Twice.
The universe is back to normal.